Janus & Jesus

When your boyfriend turns your lookbook into a trap music video... -__-

Every January, I am reminded of the tale of the ancient Roman god named Janus, who supposedly oversaw beginnings, transitions, time, passages, and endings. Since he not only looks to the future but also to the past, he is aptly depicted as having two faces that face forward and backwards. It was believed that he presided over the beginning of journeys and the endings of conflict, giving his blessings to those who prayed for peace from war. And to be honest, I find myself being partial to this image of a being that had the capability to so easily look back in time and look ahead to the future. Why can’t I do that?

You must be thinking, “what does any of this have anything to do with an outfit featuring a faux fur coat?” (yes, it IS faux, how dare you?!) The thing is, we DO have the ability to be like Janus and look ahead while evaluating our respective journeys in the past. The problem arrives when we find ourselves lost in emotion over regrets, mistakes, and the fear that consumes us when we look forward into the uncharted territory called life.

Yeah, adulthood hurts.

Yeah yeah, this is some heavy stuff for a blog post but you can blame my philosophical Indian father for that. I mean, am I the only ONE recent graduate out here that doesn’t know how to save money, or cook curries, or out here feeling like adulthood obliterated my ambitions in life?! I moved to the ‘big city’ in the hopes of making it equally ‘big’ and here I am, absolutely losing it. Have you ever cried in a mall food court while eating Mexi-fries from Taco Time by yourself? Yeah. Adulthood hurts.

But don’t I look cute though? Lol. Pictured here is my absolute favourite new coat from Zara ($59.99), a toque from Ricki’s ($7.99), a cropped turtleneck sweater from Guess ($8.88), an asymmetrical skirt from Zara again (because yaass to fast fashion on sale ($29.99)), and the best pair of super cute boots, (also from Zara for $19.99!). Amidst all of my struggles and doubts, I find inspiration when I … dress well. And of course, that could mean different things to different people but this is what excites me when I wake up in the morning. When I think about what I’ll wear, I find solace in the fact that it is the ONE part of my day that I can completely control. The rest is up to Jesus (or Janus if you prefer).


Now, if any of you are feeling equally perturbed about the very thought of waking up and getting out of bed, I want you to know that I’m right there with you. Nobody warns you of all the things you have to balance when you’re finally out of 16 years of education and a life long relationship to debt. Nobody tells you that sometimes, things won’t be okay after all. But, what I do know and what I want you to know is that at the end of the day, you are in control, most of the time. If you’ve got a dream that’s only remained a dream so far, start working towards it.

I know that I want to one day own my own business, write a book, make a movie, anchor a show of some sort, make a few dollars, start a family, etc. etc. What do you know about yourself? Don’t be scared to talk about your dreams out loud, even if they sound like it will never happen but trust me, you millennial - YOU are your best coach. YOU can do this and I’m so routing for you.

So this January, be like Janus. Look back into life and see how far you have come, the dreams you’ve dreamt, the places you’ve been and the people who have loved you through it all. The mistakes and regrets will be there too but let those stay right there as little whispers of wisdom for when you look ahead. Which you will do excitedly I hope, as you dream new dreams AND work towards them, the roads you will take, the places you will see, and the people you will love. And all, of course, while staying in true style that screams YOU!

Phew. I feel better man. Thanks for listening and I guess this was officially my first blog post.